When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas it is a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Immediately we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re eager about a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however in the event you’re any sort of a daily drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other manner. In case you’re not ingesting throughout the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for a minimum of 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely isn’t potential whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel whenever you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks on your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is dependent upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see in the event you may make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In case you spend quite a lot of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which results in quite a lot of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been continuously shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply determine that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I should not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when eager about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and reasonable, mannequin to make use of relating to speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In case you’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you have got solutions/suggestions for the best way to make this a part of my life-style with my ingesting buddies? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new buddies – haha. However, significantly, if your folks really respect and assist you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to start out ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definately would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. You should work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most fundamental sober particular person round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing somewhat extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In case you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam